Cars

Car Crash
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      I tried to like it, I really did. But it just didn’t work.
      From Pixar Animations, the Oscar-decorated company responsible for the Toy Stories, Finding Nemo, A Bug’s Life, Monsters, Inc. and The Incredibles, comes a film that will not stand the test of time.
      Not even 96 minutes.
      After about half an hour, the film begins to run out of gas, abandoning the childish exuberance of the opening scene for a more serious, but still transparently clichéd, story line. The novelty of anthropomorphized cars wears off for the movie-goers too old to care about the backs of Rice Krispies boxes as the dangerously mature plot kicks in. Alas, it gives me great sorrow to report that Cars will miss every audience.
      Lightning McQueen, an arrogant race car voiced by Owen Wilson, is on a quest to become the first rookie ever to win the Piston Cup. Needing to get to California for the big race, Lightning runs into trouble, and wreaks havoc in the time-forgotten town of Radiator Springs. For the film’s rising action, the town court orders him to fix their road before he is set free, a task McQueen considers unsuitable for a race car of his celebrity. But as time wears on, he gets to know the cars from “hillbilly hell,” develops as a person, and does many other things the target audience just won’t care about. The kids who want fast cars just want fast cars and bright colors, not a story about the prise de conscience of a red, computer animated automobile. And their parents won’t be able to breathe through the unceasing waves of platitude.
      Cars’ seven writing credits is a trademark of mediocrity at its worst: a script written by committee is destined for the shredder – or, apparently, theaters nationwide. The predictable story is as common as a left turn in a NASCAR race. And while hackneyed repetition can still be entertaining for a younger audience, automotive love interests cannot.
      Yet, amidst all this scrap metal, there is still the faint glimmer of creativity. Beginning with imposing human facial features on cars, the Pixar team continues to impress. Each frame has a vibrancy, each scene a bounce, that few other companies can match. Little things, like the Ferrari-obsessed, Italian tire shop owners, are still funny. And when the race car learns “cow tipping” means tipping over stupid tractors, even the sound asleep may chuckle.
      Today is a sad day for animation; has it all been done? Have our culture and film industry run out of ideas? In the Year of the Sequel, Cars seemed potentially fresh and buoyant. But no, it was stale and sank. Perhaps, Pixar will rekindle their creative fires. Until then, your kids would be better entertained with the back of the Rice Krispies box.

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Cars
96 (Painful) Minutes
Release Date: June 9, 2006

A Prairie Home Companion

Video Blessed the Radio Star
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      In a semi-fictional depiction of A Prairie Home Companion’s swan song, Garrison Keillor brings his golden voice to the silver screen. This 105-minute delight skillfully translates the radio show’s amalgam of spoken and sung word into cinema, assigning most of the major roles to Hollywood stars. But this is no ordinary Prairie Home Companion. In the movie, the big company is giving the show the axe (never fear, out of the theater the show goes on) unless a mysterious stranger can alter its fate.
      Even as a radio show, A Prairie Home Companion is not afforded the usual informalities (though Keillor does wear red sneakers): each week’s live audience makes the show as much a performance as it is a broadcast. On screen, its Prairie Homeness is squared, or at least doubled, as we are given a front row seat both in front of and behind the curtain. Once there, we see the show as it sees itself: characters are offstage exactly as they are on it. Guy Noir (Kevin Kline), the immortal Film Noir stereotype, speaks to himself with the same overcooked similes he uses during his segments on radio, caricaturing every trait of the fedora-sporting black-and-white leading men of the Double Indemnity era. And GK tells as many stories to his colleagues as he does to the audience, always reminiscing (and altering) how he got into radio.
      A generous portion of the movie is dedicated to the varying species of folk music that characterize this Minnesota Public Radio export. Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin, both actresses worth their weight in Academy Awards, play the Johnson Sisters, who sing surprisingly well together. Dusty (John C. Reilly) and Lefty (Woody Harrelson) entertain as the accused vulgarian guitarists, constantly being scolded for their choice of material (“I’ll show you my moonshine if you show me your Jugs”). And Lindsay Lohan, playing Streep’s daughter, steps out of her knee-deep puddle of teenage angst to join in the heart warmth.
      The show’s sometimes offbeat, sometimes sincere, anachronistically-sponsored, Scandanavian-stereotyping style is presented undiluted in this hilarious movie. With slapstick (watch Kline’s fingers), another dimension is added to the already rich comedy. Director Robert Altman (Nashville) makes use of his medium, serenading both the eyes and the ears. Yes, Prairie Home is “radio like you’ve never seen it before”.
      For lovers of the show, this is a must-see. For those who have never been taken to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average, it is the perfect foray into parts of imaginary Minnesota you never thought you’d see.

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Photo (from left): Keillor, Streep, Lohan

A Prairie Home Companion
105 Minutes
Release Date: June 9, 2006

Ha Kala Ha-Surit (The Syrian Bride)

A Woman in No Man’s Land
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      Sometimes, an international, cross-cultural wedding in the Middle East isn’t easy.
            A Syrian television star falls in love with the picture of a Druze woman he has never met, and they are set to be married. This is the setting for Eran Riklis’ The Syrian Bride, a skillfully crafted, moving film that addresses life’s many borders, and the many hinderances in crossing them.
      Often, the Druze living in the Golan Heights consider themselves Syrian, and refuse Israeli citizenship. For this reason, the passports seen in the film announce “undefined” where a nationality should be. Officially, these are a people without identity. For Mona, the beautiful Druze bride, the marriage will redefine her as a Syrian: once she crosses the Israeli-Syrian border, she will legally never be able to return. But first, she must cross her own emotional borders.
      Riklis tells a story of people doing what is forbidden and determining for themselves what is right. When social pressures theater to destroy a wounded family, only its members’ internal conscience can heal it. The marriage ceremony, to take place at the the border, is marred by logistical troubles, as well as emotional. The Syrian Bride finds her self in a literal and symbolic limbo, with a life-changing choice at hand.
      And her story is not unique. Even though we are constantly reminded of our setting with intermittent shots of the gorgeous Jerusalem landscape, the quinitilingual dialogue suggests that cultural isolation can happen anywhere. But where there is separation, there is fellowship. After nearly a decade, a father and son who have not spoken are reunited by the departure of a shared loved one
      The two main gems of the film are actresses Hiam Abbass (Paradise Now, Munich), who plays the sorrowfully strong Amal, and Clara Khoury who incarnates Mona with a face that holds both life and suffering. The Syrian Bride shows us characters whose mixed emotions resonate in harmony with the real world. Often, the Cinemascope (2.66:1 aspect ratio) image captures the face of the brilliant Khoury, turned back over shoulder, her gaze diametrically opposed to her feet.
      This smart, allegorical picture depicts many intricately interconnected people, symbolizing the many borders that have been crossed. Simultaneously, cultural regulations illustrate the hurdles that have yet to be overcome. In Syria, Israel, or the United States. the struggle between tradition and emotion is never-ending.

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Ha Kala Ha-Surit (The Syrian Bride)
87 Minutes
Release Date (Israel): December 2, 2004; DVD: June 6, 2006

Banlieu 13

Imported Awesome
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      Say bonjour to two bad-ass Frenchmen who fight like Asians and shoot like Americans. Or so we thought. The national boundaries that used to define action styles have been crossed. In Banlieu 13 (District 13), a politically charged story fuels the heart-pounding action that will make you shout Encore! for more of its spark and (French?) style.
      We find ourselves in 2010 Paris, where the problematic B-13 is walled off from the rest of society (along with other delinquent districts). Schools, businesses and the one police station are closing down, apparently leaving only ruthless mobsters and supernatural street fighters. For the action, the grungy, derelict surroundings are a perfect jumping off point... literally. Our homegrown hero, Leito, jumps catlike from rooftop to rooftop, over cars and out windows like a sort of urban Tarzan. The other hero, a cop who likes to fly solo, is equally impressive. When a “clean bomb” (a small neutron bomb that leaves almost no radiation) falls into the wrong hands, Damien must partner up with Leito to find his way around the neighborhood France forgot.
      Each fight scene is marvelously crafted, from the opening chase to the dramatic finale. With less of the useless gore that sometimes besmirches the cleanliness of a good action film (aside from the “knee guillotine” move, hinting at French Revolution, which is pretty cool), B-13 allows you to focus on the quality of the combat. While this may not be nationalist propaganda, the French portrayed here do not surrender – they fight to the death in sequences that combine the mind-boggling acrobatic violence of Ong-Bak with the magazine-emptying fury of Scarface.
      At the same time, the film takes well-aimed shots at both out-of-touch, classist governments and France protesting methods. At one point, Damien asks Leito if he thinks “torching cars” will solve the country’s problems. Leito shrugs.
      The cop and the civilian, while both struggling to uphold France’s liberté, egalité, fraternité, have different methods – the former carries out carefully researched missions, while the latter improvises. Yet, in both cases, their foes are marked with a short life expectancy.
      This is one action movie you’d better not miss. This French film came all the way across the Atlantic to show us Americans how to make something both entertaining and original. The hip hop soundtrack provides a pulsing heartbeat while the near-future setting gives us simultaneously the sense of relevance and novelty. B-13 gets an A.

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Photo: Leito exhibits his bad assery

Banlieu 13 (District 13)
85 Minutes
Release Date (France): November 10, 2004; (USA): June 2, 2006

X-Men: The Last Stand

Last Stand Stands Up
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      Simple algebra: X3 is one X more than X2, which is in turn X more than X1. In other words, X-Men: The Last Stand is three times X-ier than the original.
      What does this mean? For starters, more mutants. The range of imaginative, comic book powers is enormous, from the incredible note-taking skills of one student to the awesome, all-encompassing power of the Phoenix. At times, it is overwhelming to have hundreds of mutants showing off their powers, but X3 aims to amaze, and it hits its mark.
      In addition, the same comic book-style dialogue present in the first two installments is loud and clear in this one. Apparently, along with the “x-gene” that provokes the fantastical mutations comes a profundity gene that provokes predictable conversation. Imagine any statement of urgency. Now, repeat it and change some pronouns around (“It’s what we want.” “No, it’s what you want.”). You’ve written the screenplay. But if you don’t let it get to you, it’s not only hilarious, it works. The fanciful, imaginative style of the X-Men franchise is one that is deliberately overdone in a way that is bold and exciting, and more importantly – fun.
      With San Francisco as a backdrop, the self-titled homo superiors take on the military in this final (would they really stop after making almost half a billion with two films?) chapter. The “old friends” compete once again, this time for the partnership of the telekinetic psychic, Dr. Jean Gray. If the cliffhanger in X2 didn’t give it away, the previews for Last Stand did: she’s back. When the government develops a “cure” that will rid mutants of their unique abilities, Magneto (Ian McKellen) unites a band of outcasts that will inspire tolerance by exterminating homo sapiens. A Holocaust survivor attempting to clear space for a master race? Perfect!
      The X-Men must come to terms with their mutantness while genocide (in both directions) threatens to destroy the world. Like the prequels, there are love triangles that strain the characters’ bonds, even among the most noble freaks; X3 manages to hold its ground on an emotional and moral as well as visual level. Thanks to the Phoenix, the story line creates a door to an uncharted territory where normal physical laws do not apply.
      My advice: don’t think too hard (“how can Wolverine move his wrists with his claws retracted?”), it takes away from the adolescent exuberance that makes Marvel movies as exciting as the comic books they come from. Sometimes, as with Spiderman and The Hulk, the movies took themselves too seriously, so the audience did too, looking for the traits that typically make “good” movies. But X-Men 3 has evolved – a movie that can be simultaneously deep, intense and downright silly.
      With Wolverine, a spin-off of the films, starring X-Men’s Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), The Last Stand is certainly not the last we will see of these lovably destructive characters.

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X-Men: The Last Stand
104 Minutes
Release Date: May 26, 2006

Over the Hedge

Over the Hedge, Under the Bar
Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critic
      In the rapid-fire, caffeine-fueled, ADD style of the modern animated movie, Over the Hedge presents a well put together, but disappointingly lightweight flick about foraging animals trying to survive when suburbia destroys most of their natural habitat.
      While it may not have the zazz and cleverness that made chaperoning adults enjoy Shrek and Finding Nemo, Over the Hedge will surely be child-pleasing. Yes, it follows the multi-million dollar recipe — boy (raccoon) in trouble, boy finds help, boy abuses help, boy regrets abuse, bear chases boy — but its bright colors and silly dialogue will keep the wee ones in stitches. As usual, the adorable animals are under attack by the evil, Botoxed humans who epitomize the bane of Ecologists’ existence. Unfortunately, the movie’s feeble attempt at social commentary consists of a few lines spoken as if their solemn tone would squeeze out a few drops of profundity.
      Even the obligatory Citizen Kane, and A Streetcar Named Desire references seem forced and out of place. However, they did inexplicably get laughs from the children. While the animals leap over the hedge, the jokes remain unable to get over anyone’s head. I didn’t understand what a gasped “Rosebud” would mean to the four year-old behind me, but perhaps it was funny coming from a possum. Or perhaps it was a very, very sophisticated four year-old. If so, I learned a lesson that Tim Johnson and Karey Kirkpatrick (directors) should have learned years ago: never underestimate your audience. Sure, a few “nuts” jokes can be funny, especially coming from a hyperactive fox with the voice of The 40 Year Old Virgin’s Steve Carell, but as they say in Hollywood, “if it’s not funny coming from a squirrel, it’s just not funny”. If that was their best attempt to attract the older portion of the demographic, they might need to take a few more classes at Clever Euphemism School.
      The recent advances in computer animation have enabled a great development in one of the main elements of children’s movies: cuteness. Dreamworks’ animation is top notch, with each hair on the fuzzy little creatures’ heads looking real enough to pet, and fantastical enough to not trigger your allergies.
      If you are childless, and cannot gain pleasure from seeing the enjoyment of children, life is too short to see this movie. If you are not in that category, I strongly suggest you add your ten dollars to the funds for the almost inevitable sequel.

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Photo: the conniving raccoon, RJ (Bruce Willis) and Carell’s fox Hammy acting a rabid squirrel

Over the Hedge
83 Minutes
Release Date: May 19, 2006