Adam Valen Levinson
Freelance Movie Critc
From Mongolian classics like The Story of the Weeping Camel to documentaries about eating McDonald’s sludge, 2004 was packed with some truly fantastic movies that made us laugh, cry, and cover our children’s eyes. So here they are, the best eleven (and the worst one) films of this calendar year:
1. Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. Dragged into this movie by my cinematically outgoing family, I had expected to be bored and confused to the point of delirium. I left believing I had seen, in my humble opinion, the year’s best movie. In a film about having memories erased from your mind intentionally, Jim Carrey and his character Joel Barish are nothing short of memorable. As each memory is erased, we watch as time passes backwards and as Barish’s unconscious realizes he still loves the woman who is so rapidly escaping from his psyche. Eternal Sunshine has the uncanny ability to make each deteriorating memory into a flawless piece of comedy with original romanticism on the side. A brilliant score by Jon Brion adds the final perfecting touches to make every scene Oscar-worthy, and worthy of the title of the Best Film of 2004.
2. Graphic, crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language; all involving puppets. That’s right – puppets. This kind of R rating could only fit one movie, and that’s Team America: World Police. A close runner-up for number one, Team America sits at second place atop this year’s best films only because its plot was secondary. OK, that and the fact that if you saw this and were not offended by anything, either directors Trey Parker and Matt Stone had failed, or you have no ethnicity. Or gender. Or religious beliefs. Or dignity. Much like the South Park movie in style, World Police is comically ingenious, boldly going where no movie has gone before. Where else has Kim Jong Il been featured in his own solo song? Where else has Tim Robbins been lit on fire? In what other movie has Michael Moore blown himself up? This might make this movie sound violent and frightening, but it’s really a goodhearted love story between two puppets, whose love was so passionate it caused the movie to be rated NC-17 until it was edited. I implore you to see this year’s most thoroughly enjoyable movie, for if you don’t, the terrorists have won.
3. Garden State. With only three hours left in 2004, I finished this shrewdly original comedy directed and written by its star Zach Braff. It started as a series of offbeat and hilarious moments, but then became a charming tale of a man rediscovering himself and finding love in his home town. Each minute of the movie will give you at least one moment where you find yourself thinking, “Hey, I know exactly how that feels.” Braff’s character Andrew seems alienated and numb at first, but after four days with Natalie Portman’s perfectly lifelike and unique Sam, he is reborn. This movie should not go unseen (even though it is about New Jersey), because who knows, it just might change your life.
4. National Treasure. Before you moan with disappointment, judging you’ve gotten this far, about such high praise for a PG movie about hunting treasure, let me explain. This was the kind of movie that leaves you in a state of euphoria, clinging to every little piece, or in this case – every clue. It leaves you thinking what if?, wondering if there really could be copious amounts of hidden treasure from all four corners of the world. National Treasure is so incredibly well put together, so flawlessly creative that the noisy woman behind you never have the chance to impose her “psychic” talent.
5. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is the only movie I’ve seen this century that left me entirely confused. Not in the sense that the plot was incomprehensible, which is wasn’t, but in that it had helpings of sad, touching, and bizarre funniness sprinkled with a fantastic shark-hunting story simultaneously. From the enormous fabled jaguar shark to the watchman/guitarist singing Portuguese versions of David Bowie songs, each character is innovative and masterfully acted. If you see one movie this year, see Life Aquatic. It completely upends the Hollywood norm and finds a way to make you think in entirely new ways, even though you don’t know why.
6. Troy kicked off the summer movie season with Brad Pitt as Achilles, fighting his way through the heart of a fiery and stunningly huge modern representation of the Trojan war, one that I believe will be seen in retrospect as one of film’s greatest battles. The casting department faced the ever difficult task of choosing “the face that launched a thousand ships”, and, as I’m sure a certain half of the audience would agree, they did quite well picking Diane Kruger. Girls can watch Orlando Bloom and his dreamy British accent (slightly out of place in ancient Greece) seduce Helen, and guys can finally watch star Pitt and his critically acclaimed leather miniskirt die. Without hesitation, I highly recommend the year’s best epic.
7. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was definitely the best of the series, leaving the childishness of the first and second locked away like Harry under the steps of the Dursley’s wretched home. Director Alfonso Cuarón of Y Tu Mamá También, might as well have said Petrificus Totalus and bound me to my chair, as I was unable to leave my seat as soon as the catchy and recognizable opening music began. Each wand-waving Gryffendor has been transformed into real characters and I can only hope the rest of the series continues with as much cinematic magic.
8. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was the funniest live-action comedy of the year, starring former Saturday Night Live star Will Ferrell. Mostly, these reviews are one reviewer’s modest opinion – this is simply fact. Ferrell plays the male chauvinistic Ron Burgundy whose reign as exclusive anchorman is jeopardized when the gorgeous Veronica Corningstone shows up on set. The enmity/love interest that hatches lays the foundation for an hour-and-a-half that will leave you sobbing with joy. In short, have you ever seen a dog get kicked off a bridge? Do you want to? Anchorman is for you.
9. Diarios de Motocicleta, known in the US as The Motorcycle Diaries, romanticizes the early life of Cuban revolutionary Ernesto “Che” Guevara. As he journeys first via ancient motorcycle with his friend Alberto, we see not only gorgeous South American landscapes, but deep into the characters of these two travelers. For those already acquainted with Señor Guevara, this film offers interesting tidbits that are most likely unknown, while the fascinating story and various dialects of the Spanish language will lead the unfamiliar from Buenos Aires through the Amazon.
10. Kill Bill Volume 2 finished this terribly ensanguined series brilliantly, stretching the mind of viewers to the point where they use words like “ensanguined”. For the terribly queasy: beware. Quentin Tarantino stops at nothing to create the bloodiest scenes ever recorded on film. We follow Uma Thurman as she is buried alive, shot, and tranquilized, and as she slaughters by sword, shoots, and pulls out the eyes of anyone who stands in her way. The Kill Bill duo was a fantastic four hours so find a time not close to any meal, a comfy couch, and enjoy.
11. Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events stars Jim Carrey as Count Olaf in the sixth of these eleven with an extraordinarily long title. The sadistic and greedy Olaf gains, loses, and then continually struggles for the custody of the Baudelaire orphans (seeking their inheritance), each failure being one of the children’s “unfortunate events”. The movie only covers three of the eventual thirteen Lemony Snicket books, so for those who need a neat and tidy ending that leaves no question unanswered, you may be a bit discontent. Nonetheless, you will bite your nails as you laugh at this darkest, most macabre Nickelodeon film.
∞. The Passion of the Christ. By far the most controversial film of the millennium, Mel Gibson’s The Passion was a horrific adaptation of the last day of Jesus’ life, as brutally gory as Gibson thought necessary to make the audience cringe with Christ-love. The film was not even as exciting as I had expected, though at times I couldn’t help thinking, almost shouting, “Go Jesus!” However, its biggest flaw according to the unenthusiastic sect of the public was its anti-Semitism. I found no anti-Semitism in this movie, as the angry shouts of “Judaeus” could only be seen as the disgusting remarks of a cursed Roman soldier. Do not not see this movie because you believe it to be anti-Semitic, overly gory, or ahistorical. Do not see it because it is a crude and boring, unoriginal blockbuster with canned movie music and bland acting. Come judgment day, not having seen this will not make you a blasphemer, it will only show you have good judgment.
Written January 11, 2005 for the Friends' Central Focus
